skipped sch yest.
sch today was such a dread. i hate tuesdays and thursdays, they are my long-days in sch. ever since the J3s graduated, i prefer to rush home straight after sch. im so anti-social.
its our rugby finals tmr. really anxious for them. we made posters for the ruggers during our breaks today. the sch chartered like 10 buses. unfortunately our class didnt manage to secure places on the bus. oh well, we'll hafta take the public transport all the way down to choa chu kang.
im still contemplating abt staying out late tmr night with the losers cause i have sch the next day. and since i already skipped sch on monday, it probably isnt that wise to do so again on thurs, although i would very much like too.
i have no idea whats wrong with me. im at like a low point again. a term rizwan and i coined to be "temporary depression for retainees". its such a horrid feeling to have. i am seriously trying hard to snap out of it but its tougher than it seems. coincidentally, it always hits me the hardest after i finish, what lionel would call, "blog-spying". it just basically means you're being a busybody, poking your nose around other people's blog. well, in the first place, blogs are meant for others to visit right.
so whenever im done blog-spying, i tend to reflect back on what im doing with my own life. and i hate the answers that i get. theres no point masking such feelings. if you're sad, you're sad. it seems like ive acquired more demerits than any meritorious achievements over these 3 yrs. and its like i neither belong to the J3 nor the J2 batch.
i know ive rattled on and on abt this like a million times and im getting sick of it too but the feeling just doesnt seem to go away. this like my only outlet to vent it all out.
anyways, theres a campus meeting this friday. at this point of time, i cant care less whatever whoever will think.. im really not looking forward to it at all. in fact im dreading it. as much as i love SA and as much as i would love to win more souls for God, theres just something abt it that puts me off. im dying to graduate so that i can cut off my connections to these weekly meetings. im evil.
can you sense my incoherence throughout. its as if im going mad. alright, i pray tmr will be a better day.
