i think my mood fluctuates like a roller coaster. i can be sky high happy one moment and super depressed at another. and now, im terribly upset. janice went back to australia and i didnt even know or realise till i read debs blog. my heart just sank upon the realisation that she had already left. not even a phone call or msg from me to her. throughout her 2 months visit here, which is really rare, i only had time to meet up with her like twice. somehow the situation wasnt really to my advantage. if it wasnt work, it was sch or tuition. restrictions from my parents and the nearing of block test didnt help at all.
it hurts me even more to think that she must have left thinking i didnt care. i wasnt even at the airport to send her off. and looking back now, even if it meant going to sch from the airport, i think i would still have gone. what is one day of sch compared to our friendship. i dont know how long i will have to wait before i can see her again.
i still hate the fact that i retained and loathe even more how it has got into the way of so many things and pulled me apart from friends. i really do. but i guess i only have myself to blame.
